And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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