mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It was confusing and full of hummus
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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