that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
