I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize