Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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