Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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