Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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