i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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