I wannas sexs uuuuu
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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