I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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