did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
