Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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