I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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