youre lurking in front of me
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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