I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
