508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
