is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
my poor anus
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
