You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Randomize
