Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm passing your future prison.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
