I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
