the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
