thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
