She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Text me some of your sweat
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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