I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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