I can tuck mytits in my pants
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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