So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
