do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
