I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I understand Curling. That high.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
