There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
