but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
