im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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