We're facebook friends in real life
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think my moral compass just broke
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