I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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