how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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