Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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