I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
