Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Houston, we have a squirter
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
