I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
