I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
