She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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