TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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