wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
