his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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