You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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