I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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