Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
