Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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