At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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