Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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