I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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