I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
