At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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