Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
