It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
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We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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