Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
