Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
