I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
