A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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