It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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