Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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