hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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