I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
