Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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