I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
this is an emotional support booty call
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize