see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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