Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
