look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
